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In which we described the featured articles in rhyme again

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By Adam Cuerden

This Signpost "Featured content" report covers material promoted from [date] through [date]. Quotes are generally from the articles, but may be abridged or simplified for length.

We didn't have a huge number of featured pictures this issue, but I think I found a clever and unique way to lay them out. Also, poetry again! Why? Because, while it does, by necessity, simplify subjects, that's actually a good thing when you have thirty-some featured articles and lists to summarise. It does have a risk of trivialising things, but being sensitive should help with that, and if I get articles on the Holocaust or the like, well, the "summarise it in poetry" thing isn't a death pact.

We've used basically the same format for these since the Signpost was weekly. It was intended for the short weekly issues with five to nine articles to summarise; but this issue has twenty featured articles and eighteen featured lists in this issue. Something has to change, and there's probably going to need to be some playing around until we get there.


Featured articles

Twenty featured articles were promoted this period.

Ignace Tonené.
Apparently, the British librarian's vocation
Just won't be inclusive of image rotation.
I suspect sometime soon this here image we'll see
Restored and rotated and on FPC.
Ignace Tonené, nominated by CT55555
Tonené was an Ojibwe chief and prospector
He got Canada's government to be his community's investor.
His discoveries when acting as prospector bold,
Caused the nineteen-oh-six era rush to find gold.
Paint Drying, nominated by LunaEatsTuna
It is what it sounds like. In Britain, you see,
Ev'ry film must be rated by BBFC.
They charge by the minute (but watch them all too),
So, to protest that charge, there's ten hours to view.
Constantine III (Western Roman emperor), nominated by Gog the Mild
When promised, if he surrendered, they'd let him stay whole,
He did, but they didn't: they put his head on a pole.
Airport Central railway station, nominated by Steelkamp
Flying from Australia? Perth Airport is found
By taking a railway to go underground.
Edgar, King of England, nominated by Dudley Miles
The father of Æthelred the Unready,
His rule of England was really quite steady.
After seeing his sons' reigns, all the wise sages
Ranked his reign with all the most golden of ages.
Illusion of Kate Moss, nominated by Premeditated Chaos (PMC)
At McQueen's Widows of Culloden, what was talked about the most
Was Kate Moss in a crystal (an effect called Pepper's Ghost).
From A History of British Fishes:
 The Owl and the Pussycat might put down their gullet
 This here illustration of the thicklip grey mullet.
 "What's the connection?" Is that what I hear?
 Why, they both were created by old Edward Lear!
A History of British Fishes, nominated by Jimfbleak
"History" as in "Natural History". The phrasing has changed.
But wishes for guides to fishes just does not seem all that strange.
Ken "Snakehips" Johnson, nominated by SchroCat
Black British music does not oft get its due:
Featured articles on it? Appallingly few.
In the thirties and forties, Johnson brought swing
Over to Britain, where he reigned as king.
Siege of Bukhara, nominated by AirshipJungleman29
In Khwarazmian old Ghengis Khan
A stately pleasure domeThe Siege of Bukhara achieved.
    And all folk who Bukhara filled
    Found themselves enslaved or killed.
You'd think they'd be quite peeved.
Badge Man:
 I sort of see it, I guess, but if you ask me,
 In context? Paradolia of the bottom of a tree.
Badge Man, nominated by HAL333
Who killed JFK? Well, some say the job
Was planned and committed by a photograph's blob.
Constantine (son of Theophilos), nominated by Unlimitedlead
He was raised to co-emperor alongside his dad,
From infancy all of that power he had.
He died by sixteen, and it's of some concern
That he died after falling in the palace cistern.
Don't drink the water in Blachernae, lest the slaughter
Create a new market for Constantine-flavoured water.
Bennerley Viaduct, nominated by HJ Mitchell
They wanted to destroy it, but it was made a bit too strong:
They couldn't afford to take apart the ironwork, and so,
It survived to be historic, but repair funds were not there.
A group stepped in to work on it, but everything went wrong
It was feared that on the list of lost history it would go
But finally, quite recently it at last got its repair.
Tomb of Philippe Pot:
 Limestone, gold, paint, and lead,
 A tomb for French mediaeval dead.
Tomb of Philippe Pot, nominated by Ceoil
Burgundian warrior, Philippe Pot
To look poor in death... would rather not.
"State of Grace" (song), nominated by Ippantekina
Taylor Swift wrote "State of Grace",
Lost rights to the recordings, then,
To put the buyer in his place,
Recorded all her songs again.
Wilfred Arthur, nominated by Ian Rose
Wilfred Stanley Arthur, Australian flying ace,
Known to friends as "Woof".
(This poem is free verse.)
Science Fiction Adventures:
 Rayguns and aliens, and, for the rubes,
 A big healthy serving of feminine boobs.
Science Fiction Adventures (1956 magazine), nominated by Mike Christie
It's just what it sounds like: it's some sci-fi fun.
So go get your spacesuit and grab your raygun.
Government of Macedonia (ancient kingdom), nominated by Unlimitedlead and PericlesofAthens
Before Alexander the Great's father, there's few records, and, so,
The answers to most questions is, "Well, um... We don't know."
Battle of the Great Plains, nominated by Gog the Mild
Carthage versus Romans, North Africa the scene,
Scipio tricked the Poenī through subterfuge quite keen
Plans to attack Utica he made where they would see 'em
Then he snuck up on the camps, and he then burned right up the reed 'un.
Freedom (concert), nominated by Pseud 14
Regine Velasquez, at the concert, sang whatever thing she pleased,
She wanted her fans to feel connection during the time of the disease.
John Manners (cricketer), nominated by AssociateAffiliate (a.k.a. StickyWicket)[1]
We call him a cricketer, which some folk might annoy:
He was also commander of His Majesty's Ship, Viceroy .
As cricketer, sure, he was considered first-rate
But he also had a Distinguished Service Cross on his plate.

Featured pictures

Four featured pictures were promoted this period, including the two at the top of the article and two at the bottom


Featured lists

Eighteen featured lists were promoted this period.

To these featured lists, I would like to be reverent,
But a lot of the titles are just too self-evident.
That doesn't lessen achievements, but it does lessen text
So I'll explain more obscure ones then take a long rest.
I hope with this content you are quite content,
See you next issue (when it's finally sent).
Denters was spotted singing by J. Timberlake
And, O! All the music she went on to make!
Esmée Denters discography, nominated by Sebbirrrr
Dutch singer Esmée Denters has released one studio album, three extended plays (EP) and twenty singles (including three as featured artist). Denters rose to prominence after posting song covers on YouTube, which gained the attention of American singer Justin Timberlake who signed her to his record label Tennman Records in 2007.
List of accolades received by 24 Oras, nominated by Chompy Ace
24 Oras is a Philippine news broadcasting show.
List of basal asterid families, nominated by Dank
This is a division of flowering plants, including blueberries, dogwood, kiwifruit, and American pitcher plants.
List of British armies in World War II, nominated by EnigmaMcmxc
Kind of like how if you divide a pile into two, you can still call the results piles, if you divide up an army, you can still call the smaller divisions armies. And they do. This is a list of all the field armies the British Army was divided into, including some that never really existed and were instead used to deceive German intelligence.
List of UEFA European Championship winning managers, nominated by NapHit
These are the winners of the European championship for association football (soccer to you Americans).
These sites are quite pretty, so be of them a see-er,
And look at World Heritage Sites within South Korea.
List of World Heritage Sites in South Korea and List of World Heritage Sites in Malaysia, nominated by Tone
We've talked about these a lot, but in case you're new, they're a United Nations Educational, Scientific and Cultural Organization scheme to mark places that are of such cultural or natural importance that the world should take note and help protect them. Tone has been doing a great job working through the countries of the world for years now and listing off the World Heritage sites within them (hence why we've talked about them a lot).
List of dasyuromorphs, nominated by PresN
An order of mammals consisting of most of the Australian carnivorous marsupials, such as quolls, dunnarts, the numbat, the Tasmanian devil, and the thylacine.
74th Primetime Emmy Awards, nominated by RunningTiger123
Basshunter videography, nominated by Eurohunter
Basshunter is a Swedish singer, record producer and DJ.
List of accolades received by Toy Story 4, nominated by Chompy Ace
List of basal eudicot families, nominated by Dank
Another group of flowering plants including buttercups, poppies, barberries, and plane trees (or sycamores).
List of international goals scored by Ellen White, nominated by Idiosincrático
Ellen White is an English former professional footballer who played for both England and Great Britain between 2010 and 2022, and scored 58 international goals during that time.
List of The Sopranos episodes, nominated by Newtothisedit
List of accolades received by Top Gun: Maverick, nominated by Chompy Ace
List of Hot R&B Singles number ones of 1963, nominated by ChrisTheDude
List of Lebanon international footballers born outside Lebanon, nominated by Nehme1499
Registered historic parks and gardens in Monmouthshire, nominated by KJP1
I don't consider this obscure, but then, I lived near there, so for the international audience, Monmouthshire is a county in southeast Wales.
In this issue
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@HJ Mitchell: Glad you like it! It was honestly one of the ones I had the most trouble with, as there's a lot to fit in information-wise, so I'm glad the extra effort paid off! Adam Cuerden (talk)Has about 8.3% of all FPs. Currently celebrating his 600th FP! 07:52, 27 April 2023 (UTC)[reply]

  1. ^
    Sticky Wicket
    Isn't cricket
    But, if we take the expression and silly it,
    He is AssociateAffiliate.
  2. ^ Also, pronounce "Korea" as "Cor-ree-er" so the rhyme works. Or pronounce "see-er" as "see-a". Either way.


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