• 
  Jerusalem at the centre, an O round a T
  That's how you map things medievally
  (Bünting Clover Leaf Map by Heinrich Bünting, a new featured picture)

Back in 2014 we did a poetical, jokey featured content report for April Fools'. We haven't done this in recent years, particularly as the monthly schedule meant that we rarely had a suitable date for it. But this year...

Poetry rising! The comedy beckoned!

I just wish I had started before April Second.

Ten articles were promoted to Featured article status this period.

Boulton and Park, nominated by SchroCat

Back when men were men, and women were too,

Two gay men knew what to do.

As Fanny and Stella they trod the boards,

And with police they crossed their swords.

Thekla (daughter of Theophilos), nominated by Iazyges

Co-empress deposed, to convent she goes

Then left to be mistress for Basil the First.

When she fell out of favour, another's dick she did savour.

Ain't Byzantine relations the worst?

Goodwin Fire, nominated by Vami IV

Burning passion is good, burning Arizona is not

But at least no-one burned when the desert got hot.

Battle of Saseno, nominated by Cplakidas (a.k.a. Constantine)

In the War of Saint Sabas the Genovese grab as

The Venetian trade convoy sails on past 'em

They stole a great treasure, quite a bit to their pleasure

By hiding attackers near Malta's great bastion.

1950–51 Gillingham F.C. season, nominated by ChrisTheDude

When Gillingham reentered the Third Division

They struggled to maintain their new position.

Albert Levitt, nominated by Wehwalt

As politician, judge, and lawyer, he's fine,

But awful hard to sum up in the poetical line.

Richard Roose, nominated by Serial Number 54129 (a.k.a. SN54129)

A poisoner (perhaps: is Renaissance law fair?)

They said he took porridge and put powder in there.

Two people died, the eighth Henry strived to make poisoning a treason,

Poor Richard Roose was boiled like a goose, the treason was the reason.

Marriage License, nominated by Guerillero

A bored official watches as a young couple signs the banns:

Norman Rockwell once again shows why he has so many fans.

Martinus (son of Heraclius), nominated by Iazyges

His father's Heraclius, his cousin is his mother,

Byzantine sexual weirdness really ain't like any other!

Otto Klemperer, nominated by Tim riley

He was loved by Mahler, and so Klemperer became

A well-beloved conductor with an internat'nal fame.