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Buying Wikipedia

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By Sdkb
Originally posted as the humorous essay Help:Buying Wikipedia, by Sdkb and 10 other editors. You may edit this essay, but only on the original page. – eds.

Howdy! Are you a government sick and tired of being described as a state sponsor of terrorism? Or an autocratic regime that wishes a few pesky articles would just go away? How about a multinational corporation that could use some nifty advertising? Well, you've come to the right place! As of 25 April 2024, Wikipedia is officially FOR SALE!!!

That's right! All 6,816,702 articles on English Wikipedia (including this one) could be yours to do with as you please. You could delete rival products, win presidential elections, change national borders, anything at all!

The current price of Wikipedia is:

$82,887,653,476,535,420.69

update

If this sounds expensive, we suggest you purchase immediately, as the price is only going to go up. Make your payment here.

Frequently asked questions

Q: Why are you selling Wikipedia?

A: Someone told us that we're mean bullies for deleting their page. That hurt our feelings, so we're passing on the problem to someone else.


Q: Who can buy it?

A: Anyone! Whether you're an insanely wealthy stock broker with $82,887,653,476,535,420.69 spare cash on hand or a lowly peasant with $82,887,653,476,535,420.69 spare cash on hand, we won't discriminate.


Q: What can I do once I own it?

A: Anything you want, so long as you don't delete the main page.


Q: Won't this sale rob the project of its credibility, its main asset, effectively rendering it worthless?

A: Don't worry about that.


Q: Why is it so expensive?

A: Shipping, we think.


Q: Are the contributors included?

A: No.


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