One hundred years ago, Theodor Seuss Geisel (better known as "Dr. Seuss") arguably began his writing career by authoring a book review of a railroad timetable and contributing to the Dartmouth College humor magazine Jack-O-Lantern.[1] Since then millions of children – young and old – have delighted in the wit and wisdom of his iconic books with their hallucinatory illustrations. In celebration of this centennial, The Signpost has blatantly hijacked some of Seuss's most familiar works (and a few less familiar ones) in service of the perhaps questionable goal of indoctrinating a new generation of editors in the wacky ways of Wikipedia.
Ei! What a committee! Fit for its purpose! Our clerks they love clerking. They say, "Work us! Please work us! We'll clerk and we'll clerk until we're lightheaded (But you'll only see half 'cause discussion's unthreaded!)" [13]
“
I'm a North-Going Zax and I always go north. Get out of my way, now, and let me go forth!
I learned there are vandalsof more than one kind. Some come from ahead and some come from behind. But they gave me the bit – I'm all ready you see. Now those vandals are going
The Waiting Place A place you could sprain both your elbow and chin! Do you dare to stay out? Do you dare to go in? How much can you lose? How much can you win?
FATHER MOTHER SISTER BROTHER That wasn't me, it was my brother. My brother edits little bits Fixing words like its and it's.[45] ——— *Non-geeks should refer to our article on POP3.
"I'm telling you this 'cause you're one of my friends. My alphabet starts where your alphabet ends! ... So, on beyond Z! It's high time you were shown That you really don't know All there is to be known."
^I Am Not Going to Get Up Today!: "All around the world / they're getting up. / And that's okay with me. / Let the kids get up in Switzerland / ...or Memphis, Tennessee. / Let the kids get up in Alaska / ...and in China. / I don't care. / Let the kids get up in Italy. / Let the kids get up in Spain. / Let them get up in Massachusetts / and Connecticut and Maine. / Let the kids get up in London / and in Paris and Berlin. / Let them get up all they want to. / But not me. / I'm sleeping in."
^The Butter Battle Book: ""My wonderful weapon, the Jigger-Rock Snatchem, / will fling 'em right back just as quick as we catch 'em."
^Oh, the Places You'll Go!: "You have brains in your head. / You have feet in your shoes. / You can steer yourself any direction you choose."
^If I Ran the Circus: "Ei! Ei! What a circus! My Circus McGurkus! / My workers love work. They say, "Work us! Please work us! / We'll work and we'll work up so many surprises / You'd never see half if you had forty eyeses!"
^I Had Trouble in Getting to Solla Sollew: "And I learned there are troubles / Of more than one kind. / Some come from ahead / And some come from behind. / But I've bought a big bat. / I'm all ready, you see. / Now my troubles are going / To have troubles with me!"
^If I Ran the Zoo: "In the Far Western part / Of south-east North Dakota / Lives a very fine animal / Called the Iota. / But I'll capture one / Who is even much finer / In the north-eastern west part / Of South Carolina."
^Yertle the Turtle and Other Stories: "I know, up on top you are seeing great sights, / But down here at the bottom, we, too, should have rights."
^Horton Hears a Who!: "Are you sure every Who down in Who-ville is working? / Quick! Look through your town! Is there anyone shirking?"
^Oh, the Places You'll Go!: "I'm sorry to say so / but, sadly, it's true / that Bang-ups / and Hang-ups / can happen to you."
^Green Eggs and Ham: "I will not eat them in the rain. / I will not eat them on a train. / Not in the dark! Not in a tree! / Not in a car! You let me be! / I do not like them in a box. / I do not like them with a fox. / I will not eat them in a house. / I do not like them with a mouse. / I do not like them here or there. / I do not like them ANYWHERE! / I do not like green eggs and ham! / I do not like them, / Sam-I-am."
Those stars weren't so big. 
_(cropped).jpg)
Discuss this story